faceit cups seem to be another solution for this problem, at least it helps me to deal with my anxiety
we gonna play next cup in a week or so, probably.
however, if u want, u can join us for 2 (or 1 out o 2) bo2 jdl games, one is on friday (20-00 CET), and the other one - on sunday (19-00 CET). the roster will probably be the same, unless havoc gonna be busy.
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need to get rid of these shit emotions.
basically free mmr, if you can press ur buttons.