I've worked at dozens of different jobs with all sorts of people over the years. Some people will try to take advantage of you. But you can't function on the paranoid assumption that people are scheming. To get anything done you just have to trust that people will do their job and do what they say honestly until they don't.
Next you have to trust that it was an honest mistake, or something beyond their control - not malicious... until they prove otherwise.
If you don't assume the best about people you can't work or live together. So give people the chance to take advantage of you. If you act like others are important, whether superiors, subordinates, or peers they will respect you. If you do favors for them, they will be favorable to you. You don't have to really have any deep understanding of each other for this to work. You just have to overlook small offenses and dissgreements and focus on the next opportunity for cooperation.
If you do this you will occasionally have people take advantage, but you will have self-respect and the respect of most other people you encounter. Even if you feel disturbed or cheated by what others do and say, have compassion on them. Think about what you can do to help and encourage them, regardless of how you feel about what they say and do. Most disagreements turn out to merely be miscommunications - assume they are, until it is proven otherwise.
A few people are truly malicious. You will know because they will treat nearly everyone badly. Such people tend to be applified on a forum like this, but in real life it is much easier to avoid them. If you are trapped with a toxic person at work, endure it until you can change jobs. Have a plan to change the situation. If you are trapped with a toxic person in your family that is a serious problem. You will need help from someone you trust who knows the situation to figure out how to deal with it.
not indoctrinating, but inferring that 85% of all people are stupid and you are somehow enlightened or intellectually superior because your eyes are open as you put it is ignorance
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_religious_populations
eh since when the majority is a parameter for anything in life
if i had said 85% of dota players are bad would you disagree with me?
anyways, i've got nothing against having your personal beliefs, but organized religion sucks
On the job, you will rise if you do a good job and your boss / peers like you. Your peers will like you if you genuinely care about them; don't be afraid that they "backstab" and "gossip". That's normal in Asian societies among friends and coworkers, but there are also many careeerists who only care about themselves. Just do your best, don't fear them, and be friendly to everyone, even if you are sometimes used by others, they will still want to be around you because most people have the morals to respect someone who doesn't use others but is willing to be used. Most people are decent and will think you are a good guy and a good sport and will continue to treat you as a friend / take you seriously when you really need them to return the favor.
@OP, have you ever tried silencing your mind? I mean... Dota won't silence your mind, it will only make you concentrate on a certain thing. What I mean is: Do you ever took a time just for you to just be? Do you try to live the moment and be it, be a part of it? Or do you think about what will come next, in the next moment, what do you want to happen..?
Are you really present on your present? Or are you living the past/future?
Do you think so much about your mistakes on the past and about your future? About your ambitions? Your dreams? Your fears? About what you plan to be tomorrow? Do you ever though that these states are actually a creation of your mind? These moments are not real, but just a image that your mind created. These moments are not real because the only thing that is real is the present.
We are a creation of ourselves. Your perception about yourself differs from the perception of others about you. You, Sunshine, as a person, as a human being, are just a creation of your own mind, just a character you created during your lifetime. You are anxious because you determined that you are that. In some state of your life you adopted that behaviour, according to what you experienced during life, acording to what surrounds you.
This sounds really cliche, but it is as it is: You should live the present moment, because that's all that actually exist. Past? A memory. A creation of your mind based on what you experienced. Future? An idealization. A creation of your mind based on what you intend to be/do.
Try to search the answer on yourself. You can't change people, but you can change yourself and guide people through this way, but only if they are open to it.
Let all these bad thoughs pass through your mind. Think about them, let them be what they are. Try not to rationalize too much. Just let them come and go, one by one. Then, suddenly, your mind will be silenced. Probably that's what you're looking for.
The hardest part is to not rationalize. That's a daily challenge. You should keep your mind clean at every moment. Clarity of ideas.
Have you ever heard of Plato's cave myth? Most of us live in the world of ideas, when we should actually reach the real world. It's a matter of self awareness.
Well, I wrote too much and walls of texts use to be boring and maybe most of people here won't get the message I intended to pass, however, I hope it helps somehow.
idk guys I was raised as a scholar in a Catholic school run by nuns, I've read and learn enough of Christianity to know that its human folly and stupidity (to regard theism in mortal terms) that has marred human history. People just used to be dumb then, to be so religiously motivated by false pretences or selfish goals by the ancient elite. Fast forward to 2016, we're all so emo af and ocnvinced nihilism is the real thing, but have we already seen it all? BTW stuff like this never remain esoteric to us in forever iif we try to open our eyes, but its really hard as f though
Well, you guys have given some good insights and views. Thank you.
@Goku: I heard the term, be here and now? Buddha said that. And there was a book by Eckhart Tolle I believe...but Im not sure about how to practise that in life.
as for Ranchu, Relentless, and Scraps... you have given positive comments. Thanks.
well, what I should do is getting on something I guess.
So what if people talk ill behind other people's backs and would somehow end up happening to you? Just learn to avoid dipping your finger into other people's disputes and live a life knowing you're not treading on human stepping stones going forward.
Go to mosque nearest your home, ask question about your life problem and they will answered wisely. (Sorry i dont mean to talk about religion, but what i exp mostly my question answered by a logic and wise that make my feel better
"I looked for God and found me. I looked for me and found God".
The answer for the question is: You won't find the answer on a temple, a church or anywhere but on yourself. They will only help to guide you. The answer is within you. Silence your mind and find the truth.
"One way to forget about the pain is be in completely in something...so computer games "Dendi
I used to do what dendi did ..which was just pushing aside the pain or depression but it always seem to come back after a while bcuz plying is just avoiding your problem u need to face your problem by taking it step by step...it may be hard at the beginning but eventually it gets easier ...I usually talk to my frens ( that u trust),family and counselor about my problem rather than hiding it....it took me some time to grew courage to talk my problem with them....it helped alot ...all I can say that hiding or avoiding your problem will only destroy yourself from the inside out..I understand some of u guys don't have frends or even parents just remember that life GOES ON it doesn't wait for us...
Reading relentless' nonsense made me depressed
I've worked at dozens of different jobs with all sorts of people over the years. Some people will try to take advantage of you. But you can't function on the paranoid assumption that people are scheming. To get anything done you just have to trust that people will do their job and do what they say honestly until they don't.
Next you have to trust that it was an honest mistake, or something beyond their control - not malicious... until they prove otherwise.
If you don't assume the best about people you can't work or live together. So give people the chance to take advantage of you. If you act like others are important, whether superiors, subordinates, or peers they will respect you. If you do favors for them, they will be favorable to you. You don't have to really have any deep understanding of each other for this to work. You just have to overlook small offenses and dissgreements and focus on the next opportunity for cooperation.
If you do this you will occasionally have people take advantage, but you will have self-respect and the respect of most other people you encounter. Even if you feel disturbed or cheated by what others do and say, have compassion on them. Think about what you can do to help and encourage them, regardless of how you feel about what they say and do. Most disagreements turn out to merely be miscommunications - assume they are, until it is proven otherwise.
A few people are truly malicious. You will know because they will treat nearly everyone badly. Such people tend to be applified on a forum like this, but in real life it is much easier to avoid them. If you are trapped with a toxic person at work, endure it until you can change jobs. Have a plan to change the situation. If you are trapped with a toxic person in your family that is a serious problem. You will need help from someone you trust who knows the situation to figure out how to deal with it.
eh since when the majority is a parameter for anything in life
if i had said 85% of dota players are bad would you disagree with me?
anyways, i've got nothing against having your personal beliefs, but organized religion sucks
hello
from the other side
I agree with Relentless.
On the job, you will rise if you do a good job and your boss / peers like you. Your peers will like you if you genuinely care about them; don't be afraid that they "backstab" and "gossip". That's normal in Asian societies among friends and coworkers, but there are also many careeerists who only care about themselves. Just do your best, don't fear them, and be friendly to everyone, even if you are sometimes used by others, they will still want to be around you because most people have the morals to respect someone who doesn't use others but is willing to be used. Most people are decent and will think you are a good guy and a good sport and will continue to treat you as a friend / take you seriously when you really need them to return the favor.
this advice always helped me in difficult moments of my life
So many people play dota you're bound to have a few fucked up ones. I don't think it's proportionately higher than any other area.
@OP, have you ever tried silencing your mind? I mean... Dota won't silence your mind, it will only make you concentrate on a certain thing. What I mean is: Do you ever took a time just for you to just be? Do you try to live the moment and be it, be a part of it? Or do you think about what will come next, in the next moment, what do you want to happen..?
Are you really present on your present? Or are you living the past/future?
Do you think so much about your mistakes on the past and about your future? About your ambitions? Your dreams? Your fears? About what you plan to be tomorrow? Do you ever though that these states are actually a creation of your mind? These moments are not real, but just a image that your mind created. These moments are not real because the only thing that is real is the present.
We are a creation of ourselves. Your perception about yourself differs from the perception of others about you. You, Sunshine, as a person, as a human being, are just a creation of your own mind, just a character you created during your lifetime. You are anxious because you determined that you are that. In some state of your life you adopted that behaviour, according to what you experienced during life, acording to what surrounds you.
This sounds really cliche, but it is as it is: You should live the present moment, because that's all that actually exist. Past? A memory. A creation of your mind based on what you experienced. Future? An idealization. A creation of your mind based on what you intend to be/do.
Try to search the answer on yourself. You can't change people, but you can change yourself and guide people through this way, but only if they are open to it.
Let all these bad thoughs pass through your mind. Think about them, let them be what they are. Try not to rationalize too much. Just let them come and go, one by one. Then, suddenly, your mind will be silenced. Probably that's what you're looking for.
The hardest part is to not rationalize. That's a daily challenge. You should keep your mind clean at every moment. Clarity of ideas.
Have you ever heard of Plato's cave myth? Most of us live in the world of ideas, when we should actually reach the real world. It's a matter of self awareness.
Well, I wrote too much and walls of texts use to be boring and maybe most of people here won't get the message I intended to pass, however, I hope it helps somehow.
idk guys I was raised as a scholar in a Catholic school run by nuns, I've read and learn enough of Christianity to know that its human folly and stupidity (to regard theism in mortal terms) that has marred human history. People just used to be dumb then, to be so religiously motivated by false pretences or selfish goals by the ancient elite. Fast forward to 2016, we're all so emo af and ocnvinced nihilism is the real thing, but have we already seen it all? BTW stuff like this never remain esoteric to us in forever iif we try to open our eyes, but its really hard as f though
Well, you guys have given some good insights and views. Thank you.
@Goku: I heard the term, be here and now? Buddha said that. And there was a book by Eckhart Tolle I believe...but Im not sure about how to practise that in life.
as for Ranchu, Relentless, and Scraps... you have given positive comments. Thanks.
well, what I should do is getting on something I guess.
By experience, the less fucks you could give the happier you will be. Give your fucks out to people and things that truly matter. For instance: Dota.
So what if people talk ill behind other people's backs and would somehow end up happening to you? Just learn to avoid dipping your finger into other people's disputes and live a life knowing you're not treading on human stepping stones going forward.
Go to mosque nearest your home, ask question about your life problem and they will answered wisely. (Sorry i dont mean to talk about religion, but what i exp mostly my question answered by a logic and wise that make my feel better
"I looked for God and found me. I looked for me and found God".
The answer for the question is: You won't find the answer on a temple, a church or anywhere but on yourself. They will only help to guide you. The answer is within you. Silence your mind and find the truth.
Just want to mention that I play dota in public cafe.
I wouldnt be playing dota in a while...so...
"One way to forget about the pain is be in completely in something...so computer games "Dendi
I used to do what dendi did ..which was just pushing aside the pain or depression but it always seem to come back after a while bcuz plying is just avoiding your problem u need to face your problem by taking it step by step...it may be hard at the beginning but eventually it gets easier ...I usually talk to my frens ( that u trust),family and counselor about my problem rather than hiding it....it took me some time to grew courage to talk my problem with them....it helped alot ...all I can say that hiding or avoiding your problem will only destroy yourself from the inside out..I understand some of u guys don't have frends or even parents just remember that life GOES ON it doesn't wait for us...
PS..I'm not 28 but just wanted to say something